My homecoming is a daunting reminder of how much I won’t be able to see during my stay here. From Ayers Rock to the endless beaches that string along the east coast- I will have only had the pleasure of catching a peak into the vast land that is Australia. I don’t go a second without thinking of my loved ones back in the States that helped get me here. So many people have played a role in my travels, both before and after I left. I received so much support and encouragement and I will never be able to fully express how grateful I am for that. The love I have for my family and friends is endless and I hope everyone is getting a little something out of this, even though you aren’t here to bless me with your presence.
If you know me, you know that I always have a theory, explanation, or guess as to why something is the way it is. My life has been easier since I’ve been here, I never have to stress or over-think much anymore… but why? What is it about changing living spaces, situations, and surroundings altogether (more like leaving the country) that makes it so much easier to just be? To exist on a level you feel comfortable? Perhaps something in me has changed and I never knew how to be comfortable with things just being things. I’m dancing around the question with words, so I should get to the point: People fall in and out of my life often, most of the time it stings a little more than it should. I think about it until I am no longer able to make sense of anything anymore, thus resulting in a frustrated, confused, and altogether puzzled girl. But, no worries- there is a light at the end of my wordy tunnel! The past month of my life I have done nothing but realize all that people have done for me in the process of destroying my (probably too tender and forgiving) heart. Through all the abandonment, broken trust, communication issues, and just soiled friendships I have learned that I am ultimately responsible for my actions and feelings. There is nothing in the world that could bother me so much that I wouldn’t be able to pick up the pieces. I have nobody to thank but the people who aren’t in my life anymore… so thank you, thank you for showing me that I am capable of picking up the pieces time and time again. Thank you for showing me that I am strong enough to travel alone, to accept the love I am given, and to always strive for the betterment of my loved ones and treat others the way that I deserve to be treated.
This weekend was especially trivial to me because I couldn’t get one specific conversation off my mind, nor could I be bothered to rid my mind of the person linked to said conversation. I know I just got done rambling on and on about the “bigger picture” and the ultimate purpose of estranged friendships… but what about the opposite? The excitement and thrill of introducing new people into my intricately woven web of a life I have made for myself is something I will never get over. So here’s a tip of my glass recent discoveries of new hearts to warm and brains to pick! I can’t wait to see what you bring into my life.
If you know me, you know that I always have a theory, explanation, or guess as to why something is the way it is. My life has been easier since I’ve been here, I never have to stress or over-think much anymore… but why? What is it about changing living spaces, situations, and surroundings altogether (more like leaving the country) that makes it so much easier to just be? To exist on a level you feel comfortable? Perhaps something in me has changed and I never knew how to be comfortable with things just being things. I’m dancing around the question with words, so I should get to the point: People fall in and out of my life often, most of the time it stings a little more than it should. I think about it until I am no longer able to make sense of anything anymore, thus resulting in a frustrated, confused, and altogether puzzled girl. But, no worries- there is a light at the end of my wordy tunnel! The past month of my life I have done nothing but realize all that people have done for me in the process of destroying my (probably too tender and forgiving) heart. Through all the abandonment, broken trust, communication issues, and just soiled friendships I have learned that I am ultimately responsible for my actions and feelings. There is nothing in the world that could bother me so much that I wouldn’t be able to pick up the pieces. I have nobody to thank but the people who aren’t in my life anymore… so thank you, thank you for showing me that I am capable of picking up the pieces time and time again. Thank you for showing me that I am strong enough to travel alone, to accept the love I am given, and to always strive for the betterment of my loved ones and treat others the way that I deserve to be treated.
This weekend was especially trivial to me because I couldn’t get one specific conversation off my mind, nor could I be bothered to rid my mind of the person linked to said conversation. I know I just got done rambling on and on about the “bigger picture” and the ultimate purpose of estranged friendships… but what about the opposite? The excitement and thrill of introducing new people into my intricately woven web of a life I have made for myself is something I will never get over. So here’s a tip of my glass recent discoveries of new hearts to warm and brains to pick! I can’t wait to see what you bring into my life.
Sometimes it’s hard to see a positive outcome when things get tough, but I am living proof that anything can happen if you want it to. I dreamt about getting out and just going somewhere nobody I knew had gone before and… I did it. I am living the dream and there is absolutely nothing I could ever say to explain how thrilled I am to have this life, body, and soul.
At last,
M.
At last,
M.
FANTASTIC!! I'm in love with your revelation!
ReplyDeleteI have had too many people treat me poorly, walk all over me, and I never get back half of what I give in a friendship. I can hardly ever say that I have a good friend in anyone, and I don't understand why I can't just have friends like everyone else seems to. But some recent events showed me that it really is my attitude and how I handle my friendships (I have to be bold!) that leaves me in the dust every time and makes me shy and scared to open up again.
LONG COMMENT, I KNOW!
I also really LOVE change, and moving, and being able to introduce myself as a new person. I have to be bold enough to stay and be myself even when I want to start over and brave enough to go see the world, too!
I'm so glad you're out there, thanks for being a good friend!
No worries! Long comments welcome!
DeleteI'm so glad my post helped you come to the same realization that i did. It feels amazing knowing that you are in control of everything you do, even if it's just the way you react to something someone else did. Anyone can be happy all of the time if they wanted ;)
Being bold enough to get out there is one of the hardest parts, that's still a work in progress for me. We'll both get there!
Thank you for being a supportive and encouraging friend, Amara! You're truly one of the best little apples in my life. Love you always! Oh, and i miss you terribly.
Love from Australia~