I realize my absence has been noted, and i am here to rescue my mother from throwing her palms in the air in frustration and excitement for updates with no avail... No worries, Mother- i am here to save the day once again.
The last subject i touched on was a tad revealing in comparison to my previous posts. Initially, i was uncomfortable and considered editing out some bits or rewording or even deleting the post completely... but then i realized that i'm not a very censored person to begin with, so why did the subject matter rub in such a funny way? I decided that everything i'm going to post now- and in the future- will be completely and utterly uncensored. No editing, no rewording, no rearranging, no changing details- pure thought and memories, moods and colors. What is uncomfortable to me is unfamiliar, uncharted territory. I have a job to do and things to find out. Someone has to give the family something to talk about, right?
There's something about a city at night, after the traffic dies down and business women and men alike return to their homes to kick off their shoes and call it a day. Some sigh with exhaustion and some are just coming around. But none of that changes the cooling temperatures and the thinning air. The warm asphalt and concrete. The trees and plants finally gaining strength after a long, scorching, dehydrating day beneath the Australian sun. These things call on me- they summon me to the streets for a walk with no shoes. A seat on the patio for dinner. A lazy evening on the couch by the window. An endless breeze to kiss me, and a forgiving temperature asking me to stay. The longest day in the world flooded with uncertainty and confusion- all washed away with the setting of the sun. My toes are in the sand forever.
A journey is the act of traveling from one place to another. My only question for you is this: What is my journey if have no destination? What is yours? What counts as your destination, and is it an abstract speculation or accurate depiction of a worldly location? I want to know.
Note: Comments are always welcome, and i promise you a reply.
Hi Mackenzie! I would like to post a comment to you about journies. Did I spell that right? Anyway, my journies have always, at least at adulthood, have always arisen in order to fulfill a need. For example, my journey through college. I moved to Boulder, CO, then Norman, OK, then Edmond, OK. Each move was to take courses and try to figure out that all-nagging question: What am I going to be when I grow up? So the educational journey was to be my diving board off of which I would eventually jump off into the Computer/Data/Telecom world. I've always been an "not know for sure" type of person. So, starting out was not my decision, but my Dad's. He wanted me to become a doctor. I just wanted to play frisbee and party. So much for ambition I must confess. Anyway, the Biological Sciences didn't seem to be calling me. But the thought of visiting my Uncle Dennis in Anadarko, OK, for some reason, was!! So what did I do? Probably for the first time, I made a decision without my parent's influence. Wow. Big deal, huh? I packed everything up and drove the car I paid $700 for to Anadarko, OK! Well, what about after arriving there? As it turned out, I ended up (a need) taking my belongings to my Aunt's home and from there, went back to the University of Oklahoma to figure out, again, what was I to do with my life? Daunting, to say the least. Because, I felt everyone around me had places to go, people to be with, fun to have, but....not me. Why? Why am I always....ALONE? Don't really have an answer. But if I was tied to someone, I guess I couldn't "move" around as easily. I guess also, the fact that I started making my decisions in life had some impact. The tentacles slowly went out to feel, touch, experience the world/people around me. Anyway, an intelligence test showed that I would do good in mathmatics, and ta-da, computer science!
ReplyDeleteSo I enrolled in the college with the best computer science program, Central Oklahoma Univerity. Still, even after graduating, I didn't feel like I "KNEW" what I was going to do. Sounds terrible in a way. But what was my internal driver doing? Where did that "due North" arrown point? Long story short, you can see that life is something you just do! You make a decision, a goal, a promise, and just do it! Nothing is perfect. There are always days that don't go right, people who somehow get you in trouble in ways you never could see, people who influence you in good ways too. I say that each day counts, no matter how lonely, quiet, or uneventful a life you lead. The days of high school glory. Wow, what fun. But moving into adulthood.....wow...it continues until you pass on the next adventure......